Don’t divorce your kid’s expenses

Posted on February 17, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

Child support guidelines were created for the average of all families- not for any particular family.  Kids need food and heat and transportation.  They also need bikes and computers and birthday presents.  Someone has to pay for lessons and activities, sports equipment and school trips. Without a good road map the kids are likely to get caught in the middle.

Some parents need to get back to the drawing board to create a good operating plan to  ensure their kids get what they need in a financially responsible way.  The authors of
“Difficult Conversations” (Stone, Patton and Heen) suggest the following:

  • Don’t argue over facts, talk about what you perceive (“We
    might not be able to agree about why you bought the computer but I was left
    with the impression that you felt that you could make the decision to buy it
    without asking me first”.)

 

  •  Stay away from blame and focus on joint responsibility (“If we put some time towards making a budget for extra expenses for our kids, I think we could make better decisions as a family”.)

 

  • Don’t try to figure out what was intended, talk about the impact (“When you buy expensive items for the children it sets up expectations that I can’t meet.”)

Remember the goal is to distribute the responsibilities for what the kids really need between the households.  The object is to make sure the kids know what to expect and to have a sense of fair play about having their needs met.  And above all- the example set by both parents is a learning opportunity for kids to understand good money management and cooperation.

Posted in After Separation, Children, Divorce, Family, Money | Comments Off

Quality time with the kids: Less can be more!

Posted on February 6, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

Studies show that parents have more time to spend with their kids.  When parents get divorced it may mean they have less financial means to use during this time; divorce means doing more with less.  As well, when asked, kids say they want their parents less stressed and tired.  Saying all that here are some tips for parents to make the time they have quality.

Here are a few suggestions that hit all the boxes:

  • Instead of chauffeuring your kids around, find at least one fun activity close to home that your kids can do once a week.  That way, they can get themselves there and back.
  • Go to Google.  Type in “Free things for kids to do in……” your town or city.  The opportunities are endless.
  • Try and find the time to volunteer as a parent leader or coach at a club, team or organization that is of interest to your child.
  • Get over the mess and make your home the fun destination for kid’s friends.  No driving or funds required.
  • Encourage your kids to play sports at school, through the local community centre or for older kids- help them arrange “pick-up” games locally.

Remember, for kids, your less can be their more!

Posted in After Separation, Children, Current Affairs, Divorce, Family, Money | Comments Off

Divorce in a Recession

Posted on February 1, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

Divorce is a financial strain on your family because it divides you and your spouse’s cumulative assets.  In this economy, where assets are quickly turning into debts, it is critical to understand the financial consequences of a divorce and how to make the most out of its aftermath. A divorce divides one family unit into two separate units. When one spouse moves out, there will be one more mortgage or rental payment to make. Having 2 separate families also means twice the living expenses, including, but not limited to: health insurance, car payments, and all the children’s needs in the separate households.

Debt loads start to grow when:

  • you have been living beyond your means even before  considering divorce
  • one of you have lost your job due to downsizing and have been depleting savings to cover living expenses
  • you  may be already living apart and  dealing with additional expenses of second home

  If you have accumulated substantial debt and are facing divorce, you will be dealing with how to divide the debt, rather than the equity. In the unstable economy, where your stocks, RRSPs, savings, and assets are quickly eroding, use the combined services of a certified divorce financial analyst and mediator to focus on a solution that works for both spouses.

Posted in Current Affairs, Divorce, Money | Comments Off

Divorcing or Not – Establish Your Own Credit

Posted on January 25, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

If you don’t have any credit in your name alone you should establish some now. You can do this by obtaining a credit card but remember you want a card that is in your name only. Many women find that, after divorce they have a hard time purchasing a home or car because they have spent years sharing credit with their spouse. All that credit you’ve had over the years with your spouse is helpful to him but once you are a single woman, you will get very little ‘credit’ for keep those payments up.

Once you have a credit card in your name use is sparingly and make sure you are able to pay it off each month. The goal is to establish a good credit score not to run up a bunch of debt.

Posted in Divorce, Money, Preparing for Separation | Comments Off

GETTING OLDER- GETTING DIVORCED

Posted on January 18, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

Here are some interesting statistics about the increase in divorces among long term partners.  According to Statistics Canada, as the Canadian divorce rate fell by more than 11 per cent between 1993 and 2003, it rose among couples over the age of 40.  In  the 50-to-54 age group, divorce rates increased to 34 per cent. The rate of divorce for Baby boomers between the ages of 55 and 59, increased by 47.8 per cent. The numbers fell slightly for those in their 60s, but still stood at 31.7 per cent. Among seniors, it dropped remarkably to 9.2 per cent.

Whatever the underlying reasons for this trend, there is no question that the event itself can be confusing to grown children and extended family.  At a time when couples would be preparing for retirement, the unexpected costs of divorcing can also have a major financial impact.

Managing the costs of divorce at this age is an important aspect of planning for the future.  The reality of covering the additional expenses of having 2 homes is reason enough to make sure that cost of the separation is handled responsibly. 

Both mediation and Collaborative Practice offer older couples an approach that allows them to make decisions about costs and provides the opportunity to plan for their separate financial futures together.  Financial projections that give information about the impact of the today’s decisions on tomorrow’s finances are a value added service.

Too learn more contact us at www.mutualsolutions45.com .

Posted in Collaborative Practice, Current Affairs, Divorce, Money | Comments Off

Prepare an After Divorce Budget… NOW

Posted on January 13, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

If you are facing divorce, you have a myriad of documents and information to collect and sort. If you haven’t paid attention to the family finances, you may not be aware of what it takes to run the household now. For many, learning about what you spent when you were together is a challenging and difficult task. It’s eye opening for most. What you need to know is what your costs of living will be after the divorce. Some people’s incomes drop drastically after divorce. It’s best that you be prepared by building a budget now instead of being hit over the head with bills you can’t pay.

You will have to estimate some expenses but it is important so that you can have some idea of what you will need to survive in your new life.  Where to start? A financial planner specializing in divorce can help you create your “after divorce” budget. They are trained and have the experience to anticipate situations and expenses you may not have considered or included. They can create projections to estimate such things as future mortgage payments, taxes owing on spousal support, future education costs, health benefit plans etc.

You need to know what you will need financially in order to evaluate your settlement options. It is also important to know your future needs because it will influence how you negotiate your settlement.

Posted in Divorce, Money, Preparing for Separation | Comments Off

Our interview with the Toronto Sun:

Posted on January 11, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

Read our interview with Joanne Richard of the Toronto Sun http://www.torontosun.com/2012/01/09/divorce-rate-peaks-in-the-new-year

Posted in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Supreme Court of Canada on changes to spousal support

Posted on January 6, 2012 by Mutual Solutions

The following article explains what the Supreme Court of Canada has said about making changes to spousal support in the years after an agreement has been signed.  If you want to be able to make changes in the future, then your agreement today should say so- and it should also say what future events would be considered if one person or both want to make changes. 

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/supreme-court-takes-firm-stand-on-spousal-support-payments/article2279213/

The more open the negotiations in the first place, the more likely you are to have the conversation about the future “what-if’s”.  Both mediation and Collaborative Practice encourage these conversations.  For more information, go to www.mutualsolutions45.com .

Posted in Collaborative Practice, Current Affairs, Divorce, Mediation | Comments Off

Getting the paperwork organized for Mediation:

Posted on December 21, 2011 by Mutual Solutions

Starting the divorce process can seem like a daunting task.  No matter which way you go about your divorce, from litigation to mediation, you will be asked for a lot of paperwork in order to get started. This is a great time of year to get that information together; the end of the year is a great time to get a full picture of earnings, expenses, budgets, taxes and other important information.  For those deciding to start the process of Mediation in the New Year, here is a list of the paperwork you will want to have prepared:

1.  Budgets: You may each have a budget for yourselves, you as a couple and for the children.  It is important to come up with an estimated budget for what your life will look like after separation. Be sure to include:

  • Health Insurance:  Include the cost for both parties after separation.  (Once divorce is final, if one spouse was covered by the other’s Health insurance, they will need a new policy.) 
  • Life Insurance: Make sure that whoever provides the primary support for the family is covered so that there will be funds available in case of emergency.
  • Housing Costs: If one party will be renting a new apartment or buying a new house.
  • Remember, take your regular household expenses (gas, water, hydro, food, travel etc.) and create estimates for what that will look like for two households

2.  Recent pay stubs.

3. Most Recent Statements from All Accounts (last four digits of the account number ONLY)

  • Checkings
  • Savings
  • Mutual Funds
  • Stocks/Bonds
  • Any other accounts in which you have individual or joint investments. 

4.  List of Social Security Numbers for each party and their children.

5.  Income Tax Forms for the last three to five years.

6.  Real Estate Holdings & All Mortgage Information

  • List the last four numbers of the Account
  • Name of Bank holding the Mortgage
  • Terms of payments.

 7.  Retirement Accounts

  • Name of Institution holding account  (last four digits of the account number)
  • Terms of Payment – death benefit, annuity
  • Amount in each account
  • Include any stock options.

8.  List of All Assets acquired during the marriage: While this may not be a list that you agree on, the mediation process is intended to help you work through dividing your assets in an equitable manner.  If you disagree, each of you should make your own lists that can be discussed as part of the negotiation.  If you have already divided your assets, you may choose to make the list anyway so that it can be included in your agreement. Think about:

  • Collections
  • Cars
  • Jewelry
  • Antiques, etc.

9.  Wills

You will need a minimum of three copies of this information, one for each of you and one for the Mediator.  Having this paperwork ready before starting the Mediation process (or any other divorce process) will be helpful to both parties.  It will allow both parties the chance to get a better picture of where you are financially, which will help when you begin the negotiation process.

Posted in Divorce, Family, Mediation, Money, Preparing for Separation, Process | Comments Off

Wellbeing of the Children

Posted on December 16, 2011 by Mutual Solutions

Say what you want about Charlie Sheen but he has at least one good thing going for him: a good parenting relationship with his ex-wife Denise Richards.  Despite what Denise calls “one of the worst divorces” it seems she and Sheen have put their difference aside for the sake of their two daughters Sam and Lola.  Richards has been there to support Sheen throughout this year’s many public falls, support she offers because “We’ll always have a bond with our daughters, and I wish nothing but the best for him.” Richards’s support of her daughters’ troubled father shows the importance of putting aside ones ego and focusing on what is important: the wellbeing of their children.

Posted in After Separation, Children, Family, Relationships | Comments Off